1. Just how important communication really is.
2. The 5:1 Gottman Ratio: For every 1 negative thing that is expressed in a relationship, 5 positive expressions need to take place to undo the damage of the 1 negative.
3. How to be more intentional with our patience, respect and articulating our appreciation.
4. Love Languages: Words Of Affirmation is the most important and most popular love language.
What We Covered This Week:
In today’s Weekly Round Up I explore communication. We are communicating every minute of the day with our partners.
My Communication Skills posts, Michael’s Case Study, Self-Soothing and The 5 Love Languages (particularly Words of Affirmation) speak of how important communication really is. We can be thoughtless and not emotionally intelligent when we communicate sometimes.
Famous researchers, the Gottmans, through decades of research, discovered the 5:1 ratio: for every 1 negative thing that is expressed in a relationship, 5 positive expressions need to take place to undo the damage of the 1 negative. This shows just how unhelpful and pervasive our negative communication can be.
We are all guilty of talking a lot about what’s wrong, rather than what is amazing. There is so much good in our relationships, let’s be really intentional with our patience, respect and articulating our appreciation.
We can be thoughtless and not emotionally intelligent when we communicate sometimes.
Michael from the Case Study is communicating verbally and non-verbally so much – that will impact his mood and his relationship. Shifting the focus and making changes with what he puts into the marriage will be the therapy work if he chooses it.
Love Languages are easy-to-understand principles regarding how we share our love. Words of affirmation is the most important and most popular love language – but not one many of us are accomplished at. Often we think many positive and admiring thoughts about our partner - but we fail to share those with our partners. This is such a waste!
The minute you see something you like about your partner – say it. It will go a very long way.
Let’s challenge ourselves in the next few weeks: be aware of what we are communicating with our partners. ‘With my language, non-verbal communication, with my attention, tone of voice and facial expressions? What can I say to my partner that will show my love? To let them know how funny, sexy, kind and smart I think they are?’
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Here's What To Do Next!
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