Understanding Your Unique Past
What we do today was taught to us by how we were treated, what we saw and what we experienced growing up. It all lives in us unconsciously and shapes how we behave in our relationship right now. In order to know why we do what we do and what to do about it, we need to start here.
An Attachment Style is established from our early childhood with our caregivers and continues to function as a working model for relationships right into adulthood. Recognising our attachment pattern can help us understand our strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.
What we do today was taught to us by how we were treated, what we saw and what we experienced growing up. And it all lives in us unconsciously. Our experiences from growing up and our experiences from our past relationships shape how we behave in our relationship right now.
Knowing the role we play in our families is key to so much understanding about how we operate in the world and our relationships. Adults and children often play out certain Family Roles and it’s not always easy to determine who has been assigned what role.
All through our young years we received and absorbed messages and it was on this basis we formed many conclusions about ourselves, others and the world. We interpret our entire reality from this frame of reference. It forms the basis of our script. Every decision we make, all our reactions and how we experience life and love will be due to our script. Over and over again we will repeat it.
The concept of the Adult Child refers to people who grew up in families that experienced difficulty, stress or dysfunction and the children display certain traits as adults. One key trait is many Adult Children lose themselves in their relationships with others.
Since you are so used to being in a certain role within your family, you unconsciously today continue to find partners that keep you in that role. Here are five key psychological themes that directly impact our adult behaviour and can be very active in our relationships.
Only when we return to our own dignity and our own values can we restore our internal equilibrium. And deviating from those for people outside of ourselves is utterly self-sabotaging. If we wish to have more balanced, equal relationships we need to tolerate the discomfort of sometimes saying no.
I'm Charisse, your online therapist.
I’ve been a therapist for 17 years and in a relationship for 14, and I know very well the traps we inevitably fall into. I’ve consolidated all my experience and every single tool and strategy that’s helped my clients overcome what was keeping them stuck, and put it ALL into these online teachings. I want to take away your confusion and show you just how much power you really have in relationships.
Relationship History Workbook Download
Learn how to break your relationship patterns with my Relationship History Workbook. It's the exact same Relationship History I do with my clients in my private practice. Plus it's free :)