Being Mindful And Present In Your Life

Once we have uncovered all our patterns and identified our scripts, then we can apply effective tools and strategies to help us stay in the present. We need to be mindful not to be triggered by our automated trauma responses and sabotage ourselves - or our relationships.

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A common boundary problem is disowning our choices and trying to lay the responsibility for them on someone else. Think for a moment how often we use the phrases, “I had to”, “She/he made me” or “Well, someone had to” when explaining why we did or did not do something.⁠

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BOUNDARIEs

Patterns in the context of relationships are the unconscious repetition of behaviours that will perpetuate what we expect from the world and other people based on how we were raised and our previous relational experiences (what was imprinted / programmed into us). 

How To Break Your Patterns

relationship Patterns

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A common boundary problem is disowning our choices and trying to lay the responsibility for them on someone else. Think for a moment how often we use the phrases, “I had to”, “She/he made me” or “Well, someone had to” when explaining why we did or did not do something.⁠

The Art Of Setting Boundaries

boundaries

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⁠We all have our own unique history of childhood difficulty or inconsistency, past relationship upsets and the insecurities, assumptions and fears that are a result of those. Try these strategies when you get triggered by your partner and learn to react in healthier ways that don't damage the relationship.

How To Be More Secure In Relationships

self-confidence

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These are the four most typical behaviours when it comes to dealing with anger in relationships. We need to be very serious about trying to reduce these behaviours if we are to have constructive conversations with our loved ones.⁠

How Do You Behave When You get Angry?

anger responses

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There are 5 main Losing Strategies that couples employ during disagreements that create distance. Mainly we learn relationship patterns from the relationships that are modelled to us growing up by our parents. Then as we grow it is their relationship with each other that starts to really solidify what we think is acceptable behaviour.

The Five Biggest Losing Strategies

losing strategies

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Managing differences in a relationship is a necessity, and something many of us struggle with. We all give and receive love differently and with a little insight into these key differences we are better equipped to confidently communicate love well.

The Five Languages Of Love

love languages

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Defence mechanisms (also known as Ego Defences) were identified by Sigmund Freud and then further developed by his daughter Anna Freud. ⁠Defence mechanisms are psychological strategies that are unconsciously used to protect a person from anxiety arising from ‘unacceptable’ thoughts or feelings.

The Top Ten Defence Mechanisms 

ego defences

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Anxiety lives in the body and is kept alive by our thinking. Our bodies begin operating in a permanent state of fight, flight or freeze, because anxiety is about a perceived danger all the time. So physiologically, our nervous systems are responding to daily live as if it were warding off deadly threats constantly.

Strategies To Help You Cope 

anxiety

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During a panic attack, physical symptoms can build up very quickly. Here are some tools that can help you focus on activating your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part that calms us down.

What To Do When You're Having A Panic Attack

Panic disorder

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I'm Charisse, your online therapist.

I’ve been a therapist for 17 years and in a relationship for 14, and I know very well the traps we inevitably fall into. I’ve consolidated all my experience and every single tool and strategy that’s helped my clients overcome what was keeping them stuck, and put it ALL into these online teachings. I want to take away your confusion and show you just how much power you really have in relationships.

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Relationship History PDF Download

Learn how to break your relationship patterns with my Relationship History Interactive PDF. It's the exact same Relationship History I do with my clients in my private practice. Plus it's free :)

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