Therapist Charisse Cooke says mornings are the perfect time for sex. “The feel-good hormones that flood our system are healthier than caffeine and also longer lasting.”
Charisse Cooke (HUFFPOST)
So, why is this style of communication so addictive and where are its pitfalls? We spoke to Charisse Cook, a relationship psychotherapist, to find out how to navigate different love languages where one partner is online more than the other.
Psychotherapist Charisse Cooke told the outlet that we expect our similarities to guarantee less conflict in the long-run, but that this assumption is actually misguided and can lead to a dead-end.
"[Your ex and friend hooking up] can raise some difficult questions within the friendship," therapist Charisse Cooke tells Glamour U.K. "Have they always fancied each other? Was there emotional infidelity when you were in a relationship with them?"
“When relationships are toxic, we are not living in reality. We are either living in a fantasy, where we believe, despite all evidence to the country, that a good relationship is possible, or we are addicted to the toxic dynamics within the relationship, and can’t give it up", says Charisse.
“Give something specific about you in your profile to start conversations,” says relationship therapist Charisse Cooke. “It’s hard getting in touch with a stranger and saying something that will be interesting and able to give you both an opportunity to put yourselves across in a good light.
Relationship Psychotherapist Charisse Cooke tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Fictional characters offer us an insight into their thoughts and feelings in ways we just don’t get to with our real-life friends and partners.
Charisse Cooke, a qualified therapist with over 10 years experience in the industry, points out, “It can raise some difficult questions within the friendship: Have they always fancied each other? Was there emotional infidelity when you were in a relationship with them?"
It strikes me as pretty mature and emotionally intelligent for former couples to manage to navigate a way through all this and remain friends. Relationship psychotherapist Charisse Cooke tells Woo that the current generation has never been more “relationally” intelligent.
“Many people do not recognise the vast array of health benefits sex has,” says Charisse Cooke, relationship psychotherapist. “Of course, psychologically, sex is about bonding and connection, reassurance and feeling close to our partners. But..."
Losing your partner is the most difficult experience and continuing with every day life can be daunting. Allowing someone new into your life can feel overwhelming too and possibly impossible to consider, here relationship therapist Charisse Cooke explains what to consider.
The reasons why people's words or number of messages don't seem to match their actions may run deeper too, explains Cooke. "Research shows that 25% of us are anxiously attached and 20% of us are avoidantly attached in our romantic relationships.
Charisse Cooke, sex and relationship therapist, says it’s not uncommon for your minds to wander during certain parts of sex. ‘Intense sexual experiences cannot happen each and every time, and that’s OK,’ Charisse tells Metro.co.uk. ‘
In the lookahead for the next twelve months, Charisse Cooke has shared a number of goals that couples should be setting themselves to keep their relationship strong throughout what she believes could be a turbulent 2022 – including a trick taken from the board room.
Relationship therapist Charisse Cooke says associating bad behaviour with tattoos, even if you find rebellious guys attractive, is outdated. “To our parents' generation, tattoos symbolised an act of rebellion," she tells Tyla.
"If there are no time restrictions, long engagements can be a special time. A time when couples feel secure within their partnership so can enjoy each other and have no insecurities about the future," relationship therapist Charisse Cooke tells R29.
Therapist Charisse Cooke has worked with many clients at different stages of divorce. She tells GQ that, generally, she sees two prevailing emotions in men: sadness and anger. Both of these can manifest in different ways and prompt “dramatic changes” in behaviour.
Online relationship therapist Charisse Cooke echoes this: ‘Being in a hotel allows us to tune into each other again, reminding ourselves of the importance of our partnership. It primes us to be a little bit more romantic and to prioritise sex.'
Relationship therapist Charisse Cooke explains that there is an element of a “honeymoon” period at the end of a relationship similar to that at the beginning. During this time, both parties may be in agreement about their separation and feel at peace with moving forward. “But after a period of time, the loss and grief will kick in,” Cooke says.
Here is what Charisse had to say, "It was a comforting and important lesson in relationships and its popularity is in part down to the kindness and forgiveness the characters displayed – something that isn’t necessarily a given in many people’s friendship groups or families in real life."
Therapist Charisse Cooke says mornings are the perfect time for sex. “The feel-good hormones that flood our system are healthier than caffeine and also longer lasting,” she says.
“I love gardening and flower analogies when it comes to relationships,” says Charisse Cooke, an online relationship therapist. “They are brilliant at showing us the care that is required, but this concept of being the gardener or the bonsai is a good one.”
Why do we want to be with someone we know we’re not compatible with, or keep things going even if there’s no spark? According to Charisse Cooke, Online Relationship Expert: "It’s called anxious attachment".
“As humans we are naturally competitive,” Charisse told WIRED. “In a situation where couples are either competing against each other, or joining as a team against others, this can be a bonding experience."
“I suggest my clients start off slow, going for a drink or coffee date that lasts no longer than an hour or two. If weather permits, a picnic or bike ride could be a great way to get the chemistry going,” says Charisse Cooke, relationship therapist.
If we decide to hurt another individual, this is likely to mess with our moral compass further down the line. Online relationship therapist Charisse Cooke says: "The human in us will struggle with feelings of guilt, regret or bitterness as a result."
“Our lives today have very few boundaries. There is no demarcation between work time and personal time, business and play,” explains Charisse Cooke, a relationship therapist.
Psychotherapist Charisse Cooke says to trust anxiety before big moments in your life. "Anxiety isn’t always negative. In fact, we experience anxiety and excitement in exactly the same ways," she explains.
Relationship therapist Charisse Cooke told FEMAIL: 'Golden Penis Syndrome speaks of the delusional belief that you are unusually and uniquely gifted as a man, sexually or otherwise, and are above established norms of good manners, respect and dating etiquette.
Relationship expert and therapist, Charisse Cooke says, "Research has shown that the ‘intensity of feelings’ and the ‘treatment we receive’ during a relationship dictates how we feel about it, rather than just the length of time."
Relationship therapist Charisse Cooke says: ‘People who feel relaxed and unemotional about ending a relationship, particularly a serious relationship, are likely to have an avoidant attachment style.’
Charisse believes a healthy sex life is the most important factor in maintaining a strong relationship - and if couples are ignoring issues in the bedroom, those issues will almost definitely spill over into other aspects of the relationship.
Relationship expert and psychotherapist Charisse Cooke says sex is often the first thing to go when couples hit busy times like Christmas. She recommends making time for more frequent sex over the festive season to combat relationship conflict and tension.
“Often we're too scared to see the writing on the wall,” Cooke says. “We bury our heads in the sand or rationalise incompatibilities away. When we're dating, or seeing, or even living with someone, we're in research mode. We can really challenge ourselves to collect all the research: the good and the not-so-good.”
Charisse explains: "A woman considering proposing to her partner usually represents a woman who values her independence and autonomy - as well as the ability to have control over her own life."
Online therapist Charisse Cooke encourages you to find your way to “treat yourself”. You might go for a walk and watch the sunset. You can make or order a delicious, nourishing meal. Or have a long bath listening to calming music.
Ghosting isn’t new, but online relationship therapist Charisse Cooke believes the internet has made it more prevalent. ‘Being online makes it easier to have a lack of normal manners and etiquette. You are less accountable and distance means you can avoid difficult conversations or responsibility,’ she says.