1. How to raise our self-awareness by bringing the unconscious in the conscious.
2. Common defences we all use (Denial & Minimising).
3. Replacing negative self-talk with more kind messages of encouragement.
4. How our past experiences shape our understanding of the world today.
5. Identifying triggers that could transfer pain from past trauma into the now.
I end on discussing at length triggers and transferences - Transferences are things from the past that come and bite us on the ass. Something in our life now 'triggers' an emotional memory and we react with all the hurt, upset and anger as if the past pain or trauma is happening in the here and now. Whilst it may be similar, and some of the emotions are understandable and justified, when we're triggered we are overwhelmed, and our reaction is disproportionate to what would be appropriate.
However, the Takeaway is - When we're feeling quite big feelings or thinking quite powerful thoughts, take an emotional step back and ask yourself: "What does this remind me of? Is this touching an old hurt? Is this some kind of pattern and that's why my reaction cognitively and emotionally is so strong?". This can really help our awareness and also to calm us down and be more present.
What We Covered This Week:
I also touch on where relationship issues come from and understanding the patterns that play out in our life.
Therapy is about raising our awareness - Why we do what we do, why we attract who we do, why we react the way we do - because there are reasons and explanations for it all. Not being self-aware not only renders us quite ignorant in our relationships, making closeness and growth almost impossible, but also in knowing what we need to work on, why some things are hard for us, and why certain things will keep tripping us up.
We therapists love talking about defences - In this round up I talk about some defences we use - Denial and Minimising. Both seek to reduce emotional discomfort and also help us to abdicate responsibility.
Negative self-talk - This is huge in mental health. We can be so critical and cruel about ourselves and it is just soooo unhelpful. We all do it to some extent and it is generally completely normalised in our lives, so we don't realise we're doing it a lot of the time. We don't see how much we are putting ourselves down and how supremely obstructive that is when trying to live a productive life.
Click here for tools and strategies for raising our Self-Awareness.
Here's What To Do Next!
Click here to learn more about the common Ego Defences we all use.
Click here for exercises to help eliminate the Negative Self-Talk.
Click here to learn how to uncover
your Relationship Patterns.
Click here to learn more about Triggers and Transference.
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