1. Deeper insights into the psychology of who we attract and are attracted to.
2. People will tell us exactly who they are if we listen carefully and are not afraid to hear it.
3. Subtext communicates more to us than actual words.
4. The importance of paying attention to non-verbal communication and body language.
What We Covered This Week:
In this Round Up I discuss my dating suggestions from the Dating Files series on Instagram.
It’s key to notice what we are attracting in our dating lives and from past relationships. Recognise your patterns and how you’re making your choices.
Dating is about research. It’s information gathering: trying to learn about the people we’re dating. Having our 'Researcher's Hat' on helps us be more rational & also helps us have a roadmap and guide as to how to date and how to go about finding a good partner.
People tell us what they are like and what we can expect from them - we need to hear that. Sometimes it’s painful but we must take it on board. Have your ears wide open.
It is useful to hear about people’s lives to see if there are shared values, hopes and dreams. When we’re looking to share our lives with someone, this matters.
Become well-versed in subtext. Things can be revealed in how people speak, the language they use and the views they have.
Listen out for stories/attitudes that speak of:
- This is how important money is to me...
- This is how important family / relationships are to me…
It’s also helpful to really tune into how we feel when we are with someone. What is your nervous system telling you? We want our nervous systems to be deactivated. It’s natural to have nerves or feel anxious when dating, but we ultimately want to feel safe with the people we are with. How calm can you be when with this person? People who don’t return our messages, are erratic, let us down last minute – all this activates the system.
Life and relationships are challenging enough without having extra anxiety and worry from unsafe, triggering dynamics, so paying attention to all of this early on is very good practise for more secure, long-lasting partnerships.
Check out my longer Teaching Video where I really drill down into Why We Are Attracted To Certain People, which you could find interesting too.
Click here to do your Relationship History and uncover your Relationship Patterns.
Here's What To Do Next!
Click here to learn how to Break Your Relationship Patterns.
Click here to learn how to be more Secure In Relationships.
Click here to learn Why We Are Attracted To Certain People.
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