Reparenting is a form of therapy that develops our ability to parent ourselves and meet our needs both past and present.

Many of us have a Critical Inner Parent, that keeps us feeling anxious and inadequate. Reparenting helps us create a Nurturing Inner Parent.

Sometimes we want our partners to ‘look after us’, to parent us. Only *we* truly have the ability to look after ourselves and see to the young parts of us when necessary. Our partners can be part of it, but not all of it.

THE FOUR PILLARS OF REPARENTING ARE:

1. Discipline

Not punitive or oppressive! This discipline is about writing your own Life Rulebook. Being the guide we probably always wanted, who is able to encourage us to get things done, figure out what to do and offer containment.

2. Self-Care

Nurturing parent steps in and knows how to look after us. Eating well, exercising, having boundaries, being kind to ourselves... all of these are offering us the most loving parenting. From this place we can be self-reliant and heal from insecure attachments (where we want to be rescued by others). We fundamentally take responsibility for ourselves.

3. Joy

We can grow up so quickly. Reclaiming and creating joy in our adult lives is about making time for the sheer joy of things. This increases our self-worth, our ability to be happy and how we can be more relaxed, kind and accepting human beings.

4. Emotional Regulation

Such a big part of parenting is soothing. Life is challenging, it can be jarring and difficult a lot of the time. To withstand this without becoming negative, bitter and hardened people, we need to be hugely supportive and calming parents to ourselves.

The irony is that as we parent ourselves and see to our younger selves, the more adult we are able to be. We develop the skills we need to navigate life and give ourselves the encouragement and care we need to live and love wholeheartedly.

How To Reparent Yourself - Part I

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