It’s okay to want our loved ones to change and grow - they probably want us to as well.
Change is delicate to navigate; there are traps we can fall into.
Sometimes the change we want becomes our focus. If we are not careful the message we’re sending out is: “You are not acceptable to me”. We hyper-focus on the problem, and soon the person becomes ‘the problem’. This attitude stops growth.
When we’re on the receiving end of the perceived fault-finding or criticism – two things can happen. (1) we feel full of shame and then get stuck there. Or (2) we get angry, defensive and dig our heels in.
Beware of hyper-focusing because our partners will react into a “Why bother? Whatever I do is not enough” mind-set.
Change happens in an environment of supportiveness and love. When we feel loved, the more we want to be, we want to shine, we are full of resource to bring to life’s challenges.
We need to focus on the positive and communicate that loud and clear to our partners. When we acknowledge the good and show appreciation for what good *is* happening, it keeps us connected.
Getting stuck in complaints and a negative attitude maintains disconnection. It is very hard to bring a problem to be solved when there is disconnect.
Instead, when we focus on care, acknowledgement and nurture in the relationship, we can then face the relationship difficulty from a place of love.
FIND ADDITIONAL TEACHINGS AND BONUS WORK THAT RELATE TO THIS VIDEO BELOW
Click here to download my Relationship History PDF that I created specifically for you to discover your patterns so you can know what to be working on.
Once you know what your patterns are, click here for a step-by-step guide about how to recognise these patterns, the behaviour that is sabotaging you and keeping you stuck, and what to do about it.
Once you can recognise your patterns, click here for tools and strategies to help you react in healthier ways when you get triggered by your partner.
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